


Wayward

by TheSongSmith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20 was a shitshow so we're pretending none of that happened, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel Needs Love (Supernatural), Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Character Death Fix, Dean Winchester Has Feelings, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester to the Rescue, Dean Winchester's 42nd Birthday, Dean Winchester's Birthday, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Family Feels, Fix-It, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), I am once again asking the CW to suck it, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Episode AU: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Suck it CW, but he tries his best, family don't end with blood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSongSmith/pseuds/TheSongSmith
Summary: If there's one thing Dean Winchester is NOT gonna do, it's let the love of his life waste away in the Empty. This time he's getting his happy ending, come heaven, hell, or high water.A fix-it for the ending of Supernatural. Set post-15x19, and completely ignoring that 15x20 ever existed because we don't need that kind of negativity in our lives.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 15





	Wayward

**Author's Note:**

> If you're only here to tell me I'm wrong for not being happy with the finale we got, you can fuck right off to the sun.
> 
> For the rest of you, here's my take on a satisfying conclusion. I hope you enjoy!

He hadn’t slept since it happened.

Sure, Dean occasionally managed to exhaust himself into nodding off somewhere around two or three in the morning, but as soon as his eyes closed the dreams started, and he was up again before he knew it. They were always about Cas. Sometimes Dean saw him alone in the Empty, tears streaming down his face. No matter how much Dean screamed, the angel couldn’t hear him, and he never managed to reach him. Other nights he dreamed of the last moments they spent together, the tearful confession that set Dean’s world on fire before it all came crumbling down, his own inability to form words before the angel was ripped away. He couldn’t consider the dreams on those nights to be nightmares, reliving what was simultaneously the best and worst moment of his life, but they hurt all the same. Then again, his waking hours hurt too, so he supposed it didn’t much matter.

He’d done his best to hide everything from Sam. He hadn’t even told Sam or Jack about Cas’ confession, and while he told himself it was because they had other things to worry about, some part of him was reluctant to let anyone else in on that particular moment. Despite their looming deaths, it had felt intensely personal, and Dean just couldn’t bring himself to open the memory up to anyone else’s scrutiny. But now, with Chuck out of the way, the world restored, and no major battle to focus on, it was harder to keep pretending he was okay. Things had gotten even worse when Sam found Eileen again, and their constant cheery, lovesick smiles made him want to vomit. As much as he tried to keep it together, he knew they’d started to notice something was off, so now he was trying to avoid them as much as possible. It wasn’t their fault, of course, but watching them together was excruciating when Dean knew he had lost his own chance at a happy ending, and the way they looked at each other raised an inky, black wave of despair in his chest every time.

He’d started with praying to Jack. When that didn’t work, he moved on to demanding, and then to mentally screaming at the new God, but nothing happened. And then, as he laid awake, alone in the dark for yet another night, something Jack had said about people’s questions came back to him: _those answers will be in each of them._ It only took a minute of consideration to find the solution to the constant _what do I do now?_ that had been pounding inside his skull since the Empty appeared. Maybe the kid had been right after all. Because when Dean looked inside himself, he knew the answer: he would find a way to get Cas back himself.

He had no idea how, of course, but there was one thing Dean was certain of: he’d get his angel back, or he’d die trying.

* * *

  
  


When Sam found him in the library it was nearing six in the morning, and Dean’s coffee had long since gone cold, but he hadn’t stopped searching for answers in the large stack of books on the table beside him. “Dean?” he said cautiously. “Have you been up all night?”

“Most of it,” Dean answered absently, flipping another worn, time-yellowed page, his eyes darting quickly along the lines.

Sam frowned, walking over to inspect the book he was looking at. “Um...okay...what are you doing?”

Dean huffed, throwing the book aside and picking up a new one. “Research. What does it look like I’m doing?”

The concerned little line between Sam’s eyebrows deepened as he took in the deep circles under Dean’s eyes and the way his fingers shook as he leafed through the pages. “Research for what? And when’s the last time you slept? Dean, we don’t have a case, and for the first time in...well, ever, things are actually okay...”

“They’re NOT okay!” Dean snapped, glaring at him. “They’re not okay because Cas isn’t here! It’s bullshit, and since no one else is going to help, I’m gonna have to pull him out of that hellhole myself!”

Sam flinched slightly, surprised by the outburst. He held his hands up in surrender, and when he spoke his voice was soft and placating. “Dean...I know you’re upset about Cas...So am I. I get it. He was my friend too, and I-”

A twisted, bitter laugh escaped Dean’s chest, and he shoved a pile of useless books to the floor, where they fell with a loud clatter. “No, you don’t FUCKING get it, Sam!” he shouted, his rage finally boiling over. “You don’t get it because you got your goddamn happy ending, and you and Eileen can go skip off into the sunset with your white picket fence, but you know something? Cas was MY happy ending, and I don’t get one now, because he’s GONE! And no one...no one even cares!”

“Whoa, hey, okay,” Sam murmured, frowning at the tight, panicky breaths his older brother was taking. “I’m sorry, alright? I shouldn’t have said it like that, I was just...Dean, you’re really starting to worry me. Can you take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on? Please? What do you mean, Cas was your happy ending?”

All at once, the anger drained out of him, and Dean slumped over the table, his head in his hands. “Right before the Empty took him, he...he told me he loved me,” he explained, his voice barely above a whisper. “Like, really _loved_ me, Sammy, and I...I didn’t fucking _say_ anything.” His voice broke, but he pressed on anyway. “I was so shocked, I just...froze. Everything happened so fast, and...I didn’t say anything, and then he was just _gone_ , and I...I have to get him back, Sammy. I have to.”

Sam’s expression softened, and he swallowed hard. “Oh, shit...I never actually thought he’d say it out loud...”

Dean looked up sharply, frowning. “What do you mean, you never thought he’d say it? You knew?!”

“Of course I knew!” Sam answered, shaking his head. “I have eyes! Did you seriously not know?” 

“How the hell was I supposed to know? I mean yeah, he acts kinda weird around me, but the dude’s a celestial wavelength, he’s always weird!”

Sam frowned slightly, looking him over. “Dean, do you...do you love him?” he asked softly.

A quiet, broken sob ripped its way up Dean’s throat without his permission, and he managed a slight nod as he looked away. “But he thought I didn’t...” he choked out, wiping angrily at the tears springing up in his eyes. “He said that it was the one thing he knew he couldn’t have. He made a deal with the Empty to save Jack, that it would take him as soon as he was happy. And the only thing that made him that happy was loving me. But it was all so much to process, and Billie was coming for us, and then the Empty showed up, and I...I didn’t tell him...I didn’t tell him that I love him too, and...I have to get him back...”

“Shit...” Sam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked Dean over for another minute, then nodded. “Okay. Let me go get Eileen, and we’ll figure this out together.”

Dean glanced up at that, sniffling softly. “You don’t have to help me...I know we just got the biggest win, and you have a whole life to plan out with Eileen...It’s what you’ve always wanted. This is just...it’s something that I need to do.”

Sam nodded, smiling slightly. “I know. But you deserve your happy ending too. And Cas is family. Of course we’ll help. I don’t know how we’ll do it, but...we’ll figure something out.”

He returned after a few minutes with Eileen, and they explained the situation. “So,” she said slowly, “the Empty is a being...but it’s also a place? How do you fight a place?”

“I have no idea,” Dean murmured, fidgeting with the spine of a book. “I’ve been looking for answers, but it’s barely even mentioned anywhere.”

Sam hummed thoughtfully, biting his lip. “I’m gonna make some calls, see what I can find out. You two keep looking.”

Eileen nodded, picking up a book from the stack and starting to page through it. After a few quiet minutes she glanced over at Dean, touching his arm lightly. “I’m sorry about your angel.”

Dean gave her a weak smile. “Yeah. Me too.”

“We’ll find a way,” she assured him, and Dean allowed himself to be comforted for a moment by her confidence before he continued searching.

Sam returned after a while, sitting down heavily in the chair beside Dean. “Well, it doesn’t seem like anyone knows much about the Empty, besides that it’s older than God, and that it’s where angels and demons go when they die. Well, their...essences, I guess. And we can’t do the angel-reviving ritual, because Cas didn’t father a nephilim. Anybody else got any ideas?”

Eileen hummed, biting her lip. “I might have one...but you’re not gonna like it. The Empty is only for angels and demons, right?”

Sam nodded. “I mean, Billie threatened to throw us in there once, but yeah, it was designed for angels and demons.”

“So if Cas was human...it wouldn’t have any claim over him?”

Dean frowned, turning over her words in his mind. “You’re saying that if we took his grace...he’d be human, and it would have to spit him out?”

Eileen nodded, shrugging slightly. “I told you you wouldn’t like it...but it’s possible. Even if it could work, we’d still need a way to get there. And get back.”

“Yeah, and all the major players who could do that are off the board now,” Dean said, trying to ignore the tiny spark of hope that rose in his chest. “But you have a point. And the Empty took his vessel too, so if we can yank him out somehow he should be alright, even without the grace...it’s a start, at least. Maybe there’s some kind of spell that can open a portal there?”

Sam hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then jumped up, grinning. “Actually, I think I know someone who might be able to help with that...We need to make a long-distance call.”

Dean held his breath while Sam recited the words in latin, unable to even watch, in case it didn’t work. But his head snapped up at the fond, warm “Hello, boys,” nearly laughing in relief at the sight of the small, red-headed witch before them. “Long time no see.”

“Rowena!” Sam grinned, hugging her lightly. “We weren’t sure we’d be able to summon you.”

The witch smiled. “Well, being queen does have its perks. And I can’t say I don’t have a soft spot for you boys. So then, what is it you need?”

* * *

  
  


“Are you sure you want to do this?” Rowena asked, her hands hovering over various bowls of ingredients for the spell. “The Empty is an old and powerful thing, and from what I hear it’s angry. Just because it isn’t supposed to keep human souls doesn’t mean it won’t try. And it won’t be happy with you for waltzing right in. Not to mention that this plan is a hypothesis at best. We don’t know that it will work.”

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “I know. But I need to do this. I have to try.”

The witch smiled, nodding and squeezing his shoulder lightly. “Alright then. In that case, let’s go get your angel.”

When the portal opened Dean swallowed hard, taking a moment to give a nod and a half-baked smile to Sam, Eileen and Rowena. This had to be a solo mission, and he’d be damned if he’d let anyone else even entertain the idea of going in his place. Clutching the scrap of paper bearing the sigil he needed, he took one more breath before stepping inside, and out into nothingness, the rip sealing behind him. Everything around him was pitch black, though he could see himself just fine. It was an eerie feeling, but Dean had a job to do, and he didn’t have time to waste contemplating that. The last thing he needed was to be noticed by the Empty before he found the angel. Instead he closed his eyes for a moment, feeling an insistent pull from something in his chest. Though it could just as easily have been a trap, he really had no other options in this blank void, so he followed the feeling anyway, and was relieved when a figure came into view, crumpled on the ground. He started running then, falling to his knees beside the tan trenchcoat.

Cas’ eyes were closed, tear tracks still shining on his face, and Dean hesitated only a moment before reaching out, cupping the angel’s cheek as he shook him lightly. “Cas? Come on, man, you gotta wake up...I need you...please...Cas!”

Slowly, the angel’s eyes opened halfway, and he startled at the sight of Dean, yanking himself out of the human’s touch. A few different expressions flitted across his face before it settled on hurt. “Well, that’s just cruel,” he murmured, curling in on himself tighter.

“What? No! Cas, it’s me, it’s Dean...”

Cas frowned in confusion, tilting his head slightly. “D-Dean...? You...you’re real?”

Dean nodded, reaching out slowly to take his hand and pressing it over his own pounding heart. “I’m real...we’re real.”

The angel’s eyes widened, his fingers digging into Dean’s shirt slightly. “I-I...you shouldn’t be here...what are you doing here?”

Despite the situation, Dean couldn’t help but grin. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m about to grip you tight and raise you from perdition.”

Fresh tears welled up in Cas’ eyes at the reference, but he shook his head. “You can’t...you have to go, before it finds you! The Empty will never let me out of here, if it finds you it’ll take you too...”

“I’m not leaving here without you,” Dean insisted. “I’d rather be stuck here with you forever than go back home alone.” Suddenly, he became aware of a sound, something slithering in the darkness around them. “Listen, I have a plan, but I don’t have time to explain,” he said quickly, pulling an angel blade from his jacket. “I just...I need you to trust me. Please.”

Cas considered the blade for a moment before his eyes lifted to Dean’s face. He wasn’t sure if it was his expression, or the pleading note in his voice, but the angel nodded, touching his cheek lightly. “I always trust you, Dean.”

Dean nodded, gripping his chin gently and tilting his head to the side. Cas seemed to get the idea, baring his throat easily, and when Dean looked up he found no trace of fear in the angel’s face. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, bringing the blade up and making a small slice in Cas’ throat, watching as it glowed blue. Despite himself, the angel gasped, and Dean shushed him softly as he held an empty glass vial up to the cut, his free hand shifting to cradle Cas’ cheek. “It’s okay, I got you,” he murmured, watching the grace drain from him. “You’re safe, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

As the last of the grace drained from his body Cas slumped, his eyes fluttering closed. For a moment Dean panicked, but he was still breathing shallowly, heart still beating under the hunter’s shaky hands. He tucked the blue-glowing bottle away, then picked up the blade again, slicing into his own palm. He unceremoniously ripped open Cas’ white shirt, buttons skittering off into the darkness, and started to draw the symbol Rowena had given him. He had to get it right, or there was a chance Cas wouldn’t make it out in one piece, but he was getting the distinct feeling of being watched, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Still, he pressed on, drawing as quickly as he could and murmuring quietly to the unconscious angel, soothing little nothings.

“Should’ve known you’d try some stupid rescue like this,” a voice sneered from behind him, making him jump. When he turned to look, nothing was there. He turned back to his drawing, trying to move faster. “Poor little lovesick Dean...you really think you can just take him from me? Castiel is my little toy, and I don’t like sharing what’s mine.”

 _Almost there_ , Dean thought to himself, working on the last few lines as a swirling, inky cloud materialized a few feet in front of him. “Yeah, well...he’s not yours anymore,” he muttered. “He’s mine. He always has been.”

The voice laughed. “He’s an angel, moron. And a dead one. That makes him my domain. Not to mention the little deal we had.”

Dean was flying by the seat of his pants, stalling as long as he could. _One more line._ “Yeah, well that’s the trouble with gentleman’s agreements. If you don’t get it in writing, it might as well not exist.” The sigil finished, Dean smirked, looking up at the cloud as he pulled the glowing vial from his pocket. “I drained his batteries. Not an angel anymore. So he’s not yours.”

The cloud writhed for a moment, and Dean could feel its rage before it launched itself through the darkness at them. Quickly, Dean pressed his bloody hand to Cas’ chest, the blinding white light drowning out everything else. When he opened his eyes again he was kneeling on the floor in the bunker, the former angel clutched tightly to his chest.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, relieved as they rushed over. “Is he...is he okay?”

Free from the threat of the Empty, Dean allowed the fear to wash over him for the first time, clutching the man tighter as he started to shake. “I-I don’t...I don’t know...shit, what if I fucked up, what if I hurt him?”

The hands that landed on his shoulders were smaller than he expected, and Rowena folded elegantly to the floor to his left, Eileen on his right. The witch waved her hands over Cas’ unconscious form. “He seems alright to me,” she assessed. “I’m guessing he just needs a little time to reorganize himself.”

Eileen smiled, squeezing Dean’s shoulder, her other hand coming up to rest lightly against his chest. “Breathe,” the hunter reminded him gently. “You did it. You saved him.”

Dean nodded, swallowing hard and leaning into her touch slightly as he wrestled his panicked breathing back under his control. “Thanks...sorry, I...I think I’ll feel better once he’s awake...”

She nodded understandingly, squeezing his shoulder again before getting up. “We’ll give you some privacy. Yell, if you need us. Well, if you need them. If you need me you’ll have to text.” Dean half-smiled at the joke, nodding and scooping Cas up from the floor. “Thanks. I’m gonna take him to my room, so I can clean him up and patch that cut. I’ll let you know when he wakes up.”

Gently, he laid Cas out on the bed, grabbing a washcloth and a basin of warm water, along with the first aid kit. The angel looked still and small, swimming in his gigantic coat, and even under his worry Dean couldn’t help but find it endearing. He hesitated for a moment, then decided he was already in the deep end and might as well keep going. He carefully stripped the remains of Cas’ tattered, bloodstained clothes away, setting the trenchcoat to the side and gently washing the bloody sigil away. He hesitated for a moment, watching the even rise and fall of Cas’ chest, before grabbing his phone and sending a text.

The soft knock on the door still made him jump slightly before Eileen poked her head into the room, smiling when he motioned her closer. “Do you need something?” she asked curiously, taking a seat at the end of the bed.

Dean hesitated, fidgeting with the medical kit. “I, uh...I could kinda use some advice, and Sammy gets all weird when I try to talk to him, so I thought...maybe you’d be able to tell me if I’m crazy or not.”

Eileen chuckled, nodding. “Sure. What’s got you so freaked out?”

“I...I’ve been thinking, about what I’m gonna say to him, ya know? But I just...What if he changed his mind?” Dean blurted out finally. “What if he regrets confessing, and he doesn’t actually want...I mean, he could decide he just wants to be friends, and then I’ll feel stupid if I tell him, and it’ll be awkward...I don’t want to ruin this.”

Her expression softened, and Eileen reached out, taking his hand lightly. “Dean, it’s okay. Cas loves you. We all see it. And I don’t think he would change his mind. I’m sure he’s just as scared as you are. But...love is about taking a leap of faith. I know it’s hard, but you have to tell him how you feel. Otherwise you’ll both stay stuck here.”

Dean let out a breath, nodding. “Yeah...yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I just...I’ve never really, uh...done this before. The whole...feelings thing. Not really my style.”

“Neither has he,” Eileen pointed out. “You can figure it out together. You can do this. Just be honest.”

He considered the unconscious angel on the bed for a long moment before nodding. “Okay. It’s worth a shot, at least. Thanks. And sorry for bailing on you guys, I just...I needed some time to process, you know?”

Eileen nodded, shrugging. “It’s okay, we get it. We can entertain ourselves for a while.” She grinned. “Besides, if I win the bet, Sam owes me ten dollars.”

Dean laughed, shaking his head. “You’re taking bets on me now?”

“Sam is betting against you. He says you’ll have to get drunk before you talk to Cas. Rowena and I have more faith in you.”

“Well, now I have to do it,” Dean snorted. “Can’t let Sammy win that one.” He paused, glancing up at her. “Hey...Look, I know I’ve been kind of an asshole lately, but...I really am glad you’re here. Thanks.”

Eileen smiled, squeezing his hand lightly before releasing it. “I’m glad too. And I get it. When I couldn’t be with Sam, I wasn’t myself either. But we’re all together now. So say what you have to say and win the bet for me, okay?”

Dean nodded, looking down at Cas again. “You got it. Tell Sammy he’s going down.”

He watched her leave, then wrestled the angel into an old, faded T-shirt and sweatpants before starting to clean the cut at his throat.

He was just taping a bandage in place when Cas started to stir. Dean sucked in a breath, the panic kicking up again under his ribs. “Cas?” he murmured, his voice cracking halfway through the name. “Can you hear me?” The smaller man’s face scrunched up for a moment as he slowly returned to consciousness, and then he gasped, his eyes flying open as he sat up. Immediately he cringed, grabbing his head as he panted, and Dean gripped his shoulder, pulling him closer. “Hey, hey, you’re okay...you’re safe, you’re home...”

He felt Cas take a shuddery breath, fingers twisting into his flannel shirt as he clung onto the human tightly. “D-Dean...?”

“Yeah, I gotcha, it’s okay,” Dean murmured, pulling back just enough to let the graceless angel see his face, stroking his cheek lightly. “You alright?”

Cas considered it for a moment, frowning, before looking around at the familiar bedroom. “I...I feel strange...I don’t understand...how...?”

Dean felt the heat rise in his cheeks, and he reached into his pocket, guiltily holding up the small glass bottle where Cas’ grace swirled. “We had to make you human to get you out, and to make sure it couldn’t come after you again,” he explained sheepishly. “I’m sorry, but I...I couldn’t leave you there all alone...I had to get you back. We’ll find a way to fix it somehow, we’ll figure it out, I just...I had to...”

Cas didn’t look angry, at least, but he did look confused. “You...had to?” he repeated slowly. “The Empty could have killed you...that was such a stupid idea, to try to rescue me. Why would you do that?”

Dean laughed at that, a tight, anxious thing. “What? You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” he asked, half-joking. Cas just continued to stare at him, and Dean frowned. “You can’t be serious...Why? Jesus Cas, you can’t go confessing your love to someone and then just _die_ before they can say anything! That’s a dick move!”

The former angel’s face fell as the realization dawned on him, and he flushed red, staring down at the blankets. “I apologize, Dean,” he said quickly. “I just thought...since I’d never see you again, I could finally tell you, and not worry about...how much it would hurt to know you didn’t feel the same way...I never expected you to try to save me. I suppose that...makes things awkward now...”

Dean shook his head, silent for a moment as he tried to figure out where to start. “Don’t...don’t apologize, I...Cas, I...I had to save you, because I...”

“Dean, you don’t have to...” Cas murmured, refusing to meet his gaze. “I can go, if that would make things easier for you.”

“No, I...Cas, I just...let me explain...”

Cas smiled sadly, looking so much like the last moments Dean saw him before the Empty that there was a physical pain in his chest at the sight. “You really don’t have to-”

“Damn it Cas! Just-” 

Before he could think about it, he grabbed Cas’ face, crashing their lips together. Cas sucked in a sharp breath, freezing for a moment before melting into the kiss. A sob tore its way up Dean’s throat, and he pulled away, pressing his face into the angel’s chest as hot tears poured down his cheeks. Cas hesitated, startled for a moment at his outburst, then cautiously wrapped his arms around the shaking man, holding him close as he clung on for dear life. “I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t kn-know, and then you were saying all that stuff and I-I...I should’ve told you, b-but then you were g-gone...I’m so s-sorry...” Dean managed.

Cas bit his lip, hesitating just slightly before running a gentle hand through Dean’s hair. “It’s alright...Dean, breathe, it’s okay...”

“No it’s n-not!” Dean insisted, voice wavering as he choked back tears. “I l-love you, Cas...I-I’ve loved you for years, and you d-died thinking I didn’t, and I fucked it all up...”

Cas gasped, gently tugging him up until Dean’s face came into view, red and tear-streaked. “You...you’re serious?”

Dean nodded, biting his lip. “I’m sorry...”

After a moment of shock, a wide grin split the angel’s face, his hands cupping Dean’s cheeks gently. “You really...you love me?”

A weak, watery laugh escaped the human, and he nodded. “So much...more than anything, Cas, I...I’m just an idiot, I thought there was no way you’d ever feel that way about me, and I didn’t want to lose you. But I should have told you...Hell, I should have told you _years_ ago...I just didn’t believe you could ever want me...I didn’t think I could actually have you, and I...I’m so sorry...”

Cas shook his head, leaning in so their foreheads pressed together while he swallowed back the lump rising in his throat. “I meant everything I said,” he murmured finally, the soft words hanging delicately between them. “You are an incredible man, Dean Winchester, and I’m honored to know you. I’ve loved you from the moment I pulled you from hell, even if I didn’t know it at the time. And I need you to understand how worthy you are of being loved.”

Another, softer sob escaped the hunter, and he closed his eyes. “I never believed that before you...but after everything you said, I...I think you might be the only person who’s ever really _seen_ me, you know? Not as a tool, or as Sam’s brother, or as a means to an end, but...just me. I mean, you’ve seen everything, every terrible, dark piece of me...but you’re still here...you’re always here, and I...I can’t say that about a lot of people. And if you...if you still think I’m worth it, after you’ve seen all that...then I don’t really have any choice but to believe it, right?”

Cas nodded, watching him fondly, his thumb stroking Dean’s cheek lightly, breaking through the wet tear stains. “You truly are remarkable, Dean...I’ve always thought so.” The hunter’s cheeks tinged pink, and Cas looked down into the space between them for a moment. “So...what do we do now?”

Dean bit his lip, swallowing hard. _Now or never_. “I-I, uh...I don’t know. I’ve never really...done this before. But I...I know that I love you, and I don’t want to lose you again, so, uh...maybe we could...ya know, try the whole...uh, relationship thing? If...if you wanted to?”

Cas looked like he might have fallen straight off the bed if Dean hadn’t still been holding onto him. “That’s...something you want?” he asked softly.

“I want you,” Dean murmured, blushing. “Any way I can have you. But if you don’t want that, it’s okay, I get it. We can just...stay frien-“

He was cut off when the angel pressed their lips together again, kissing him hard. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Cas murmured when he pulled back, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh at how serious it sounded in that familiar, gravely tone.

“Noted,” he answered breathlessly, just barely resisting the urge to pinch himself. “This...this is really what you want? You’re sure? I mean, I’m kind of a mess, and I’m probably gonna suck at this...”

Cas huffed, rolling his eyes. “Do you really think I’ll be any better at navigating this than you?”

“Fair point,” Dean admitted. “I just want you to be sure.”

“I am sure,” the angel answered. “This has been what I’ve wanted for a very long time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Dean nodded, letting out a breath. “Okay. Okay, good.”

A slow, shy smile spread over Cas’ face. “You really love me?”

“Of course I do,” Dean huffed. “Why wouldn’t I?”

His expression turned slightly sadder as he shrugged, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted by the quiet knock on the door. “Dean?” Sam called.

Dean hesitated for a moment, pulling back slightly and clearing his throat. “Yeah, come in.”

Sam opened the door cautiously, followed by Rowena and Eileen. He grinned when he saw Cas, walking over and tugging him into a hug. “Cas! Hey, it’s good to have you back. How do you feel?”

“Weak,” Cas answered honestly. “Human.”

Sam nodded. “Sorry about that. It was the only way we could think of to get you out. But we’ll figure it out, I promise.”

“It’s alright,” the angel shrugged. “The only problem is that I won’t be much use to you in the fight against Chuck like this.”

Hearing it out loud like that, Dean suddenly realized that maybe he wasn’t the only one who struggled with feeling like he belonged. “So what? You don’t have to be useful. We’re just happy you’re back, man.”

“Dean’s right, we’re just glad you’re home,” Sam added. “But if it makes you feel any better, Chuck has been dealt with already. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Cas’ eyes widened for a moment, and he looked back to Dean. “You killed him? How?”

The hunter shook his head. “Nah, he’s not dead. Jack was able to absorb all his power, so now Chuck’s out there somewhere, living out a sad, pitiful little life all on his own. He’ll never be able to mess with us again.”

“Jack...? Where’s Jack? Is he okay?” Cas asked, frowning as he scanned the room.

Dean hesitated, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. “He, uh...he’s not here. He’s fine though, don’t worry,” he said quickly in response to Cas’ alarmed expression. “More than fine, actually. See, when he absorbed all that power, he...became the new God. He put everything back in balance, and now he’s...off doing God stuff, I guess. But he’s good, everything is good.”

Cas blinked at him for a moment while he processed this, and Dean watched him cautiously. “Jack...is God?” he repeated finally. “He...he’s just a kid...”

“I know, but...he’s okay. He’s ready. You taught him everything he needed to know. The only downside is we won’t be seeing much of him. He said he can’t insert himself into the story like Chuck did. But he’ll do fine. Jody and Donna and everyone are back, Chuck isn’t an issue...You were the last missing piece, so now everything is good.”

Cas looked around at their small group, surprise taking over his expression for a moment. “So you...you didn’t need my help defeating Chuck...but you still came to get me?” he asked softly.

“Of course we did,” Dean huffed, nudging his shoulder lightly. “I already told you, we don’t only care about you when you’re useful. You’re family, Cas. You belong here, with us. Besides, I wasn’t gonna leave you there all by yourself.” He smirked. “And Sammy helped a little.”

Sam rolled his eyes, shoving him lightly. “Shut up, jerk.”

“Okay, okay,” Dean laughed. “It was a group effort. Eileen came up with the idea of separating your grace so the Empty couldn’t hold you, and Sam found the sigil and called Rowena, and Rowena found the spell we needed to get in there. And we didn’t do all that because we needed something from you. We did it because we care about you.”

Tears welled up in Cas’ eyes again, and he smiled. “Thank you...all of you. I don’t know what to say...”

Eileen shifted closer, hugging him gently. “You don’t have to say anything. Welcome home.”

“Yes,” Rowena agreed, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re far too handsome to spend eternity in a void, dear. We had to set things right. Now, not that this little reunion isn’t lovely, but I’ll have to be getting back to my duties, so do you need anything before I go? Does anything hurt or feel strange?”

Cas considered it for a long moment, frowning slightly as he concentrated on sorting out his newly-human sensations. “I think I’m just...tired, mostly,” he decided finally. “Sometimes it can take a while to adjust. But I’m okay, thank you.”

“Well in that case, we’ll give you some time to rest,” the witch smiled, hugging him lightly. “And if you need anything you know where to find me.” She turned to hug Dean, shifting up on her toes to whisper in his ear. “You’ve got your second chance. Don’t waste it.”

Dean smiled, nodding. “Thank you.” He watched the door close behind them, then turned back to Cas. “Do you, uh...I can leave too, if you want; give you some space...”

The former angel shook his head, carefully taking Dean’s injured hand, fingers skimming gently over the bandage wrapped around it. “Stay?” he asked, almost shy.

They ended up laid out on their sides, soft breaths mingling across the single pillow they shared. “I can’t believe this is real,” Dean murmured after a while. “I’ve...I’ve wanted this for so long, it feels like a dream.”

“It feels that way to me too,” Cas admitted. “I was so sure I could never have this...it’s going to take some getting used to.”

Dean shrugged slightly, squeezing his hand lightly where their fingers tangled together on top of the blankets. “We’ve got time.”

Cas nodded, smiling softly. “We have time,” he agreed. “So...you really didn’t kill Chuck? You were out for blood.”

“I wanted to, at first,” Dean admitted. “I wanted him dead more than anything. I was so angry about what he did to us; how he used us like toys. I wanted revenge, and I didn’t care who got hurt along the way. But...someone important reminded me that...that’s not who I am. I don’t have to be this angry, violent, mindless soldier. I’m better than that. After the Empty came for you, I...I couldn’t get what you said out of my head. You always thought I was someone good...someone worthy. And even if it’s hard for me to see that, I...it sounds stupid, but I didn’t want to...disappoint you, I guess. I wanted to live up to what you saw in me. And I realized that...if I had gone in there like I wanted to, we all would be dead. I would’ve gotten Sammy and Jack killed on some stupid quest for vengeance, and we still would have lost. That’s not who I want to be. You showed me that.”

A shy smile lit up the former angel’s face, and he shifted closer. “I’m proud of you, Dean. And you could never disappoint me. I’ve always known you had more inside you. I’m glad that you finally see that too.”

Dean felt his cheeks go pink, shrugging slightly. “I wouldn’t have ever seen it, without you. You were the first person who ever really looked. It’s kinda crazy, actually,” he admitted. “We managed to save the world, but only because...because you saw who I was, even when I didn’t. Thank you.”

* * *

  
  


Eventually they both drifted off, and when Dean woke up his bed was empty. For a moment he panicked, but then he spotted the note on his nightstand: _Got hungry. I love you._ He took a minute to will down his blush, then followed the sound of voices into the kitchen, where he found Sam and Eileen. “Hey,” Sam greeted. “You just missed him. He said he needed some air, so he went outside a few minutes ago.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Dean nodded, giving a half-wave as Sam wandered back down the hall.

Eileen watched him curiously for a moment. “Dean? Are you okay?”

The hunter nodded quickly. “Yeah...yeah, sorry, just...thinking. Hey, can I ask you a question? Why are you so nice to me?”

Her eyebrows shot up at the question. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean...look, I know I’ve been kind of an asshole lately. Maybe I didn’t direct it at you, exactly, but I know I was no pleasure to be around for a while there. But through this whole thing you’ve just...you’ve been so nice, even when I didn’t deserve it. I guess I just...don’t get it.”

Eileen nodded, hesitating slightly while she figured out what to say. “I don’t think we’re that different,” she said finally. “I know what it’s like, to feel like no one wants you around, like you’re unlovable. I was angry too, and only focused on revenge for my family. But then I found someone who loves me,” she smiled, glancing at the hallway Sam had disappeared down. “And I made the choice to let go of that anger, to give myself a chance to be happy. I know it’s not easy, but...you’ve always accepted me the way I am. Why wouldn’t I do the same for you?”

“Huh,” Dean murmured, nodding slightly. “I guess I never thought about it that way. But...thanks. I’m really glad you’re a part of the family now.”

“I’m glad too,” she smiled, nodding toward the door. “You should go check on him. He looked like he had something on his mind.”

Dean nodded, walking up the stairs and out the front door. He looked around for a moment, spotting Cas’ silhouette in the fading light, resting under a tree a little ways up the hill. The angel didn’t move as he approached, staring up at the quickly-darkening sky. Dean sat down beside him, quiet as he followed Cas’ gaze up to the emerging stars. “It’s funny,” Cas murmured after a while. “In the end, they were sort of right.”

“Who?” Dean asked quietly, glancing over at him.

“My brothers and sisters. They always said that the minute I laid a hand on you, I was lost.”

The hunter shifted slightly, biting his lip. “Do you regret it?”

Cas turned to look at him for the first time, smiling softly. “No. I’ve never regretted it. Not for a minute. Because I wasn’t lost, when I pulled you from hell. I was found. You were my missing piece. You challenged me in ways that they never did, and you showed me what true love and loyalty looked like. You changed me in all the best possible ways. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Suddenly thankful for the darkness falling around them, Dean looked down to hide the blush rising in his face. His eyes fell to Cas’ lap, where the angel was rolling the blue-glowing vial between his fingers absently. “We’ll find a way to get you your mojo back,” Dean promised. “Sam thinks he has a lead on a way to keep the Empty away for good, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to get you out. But we’re working on it. We’ll fix it, I promise you that.”

The corners of Cas’ mouth twitched up slightly, and he considered the swirling grace for a moment. “No,” he murmured under his breath.

Dean frowned. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Cas answered quickly, shaking his head. “Sam tells me it’s your birthday tomorrow.”

Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah...honestly, I’ve never really been big on birthdays, but...this year is the first time in a long time I feel like we’ve got something to celebrate.”

Cas smiled, tucking the vial back into his pocket. “I’ve never had a birthday party. But they sound like fun.” A cool breeze kicked up, and Cas shivered slightly, pressing closer.

“You’re gonna catch a cold out here, with no jacket on,” Dean admonished lightly, gently wrapping an arm around the angel. “Come on, let’s get you inside. There’s someone I want you to meet.” Cas raised an eyebrow, but Dean just smiled, leading him back into the bunker. “We thought it’d probably be best to keep her in another room at first, in case something went wrong, but Sam let her out earlier,” he explained before turning toward the hall and whistling. Cas frowned, hearing the soft click of paws coming closer before a large, furry mass appeared in the hall. Upon seeing them, the creature barked, breaking into a sprint. Dean grinned and crouched down, catching the dog mid-stride and petting it happily. Cas took a few steps back as the animal approached, looking alarmed. “It’s okay,” Dean assured him. “She just gets a little excited about new people. This is Miracle.”

Cas hesitated, stepping closer again. “You got a dog?”

Dean shrugged. “We sort of found her...Chuck left her as the last living thing on earth besides us, and then took her away. But when Jack fixed everything he put her back. She’s been living with us since then. It’s okay, you can pet her. I’ll hold her so she doesn’t lick you to death.”

Slowly, Cas reached out, eyeing the animal carefully as she watched his hand. He sucked in a breath when he finally made contact, petting her gently. “Oh...she’s soft...” he murmured. Dean smiled, nodding.

“Yeah, she’s a really great cuddler too.” Cas shifted closer, and Miracle panted happily, surging forward to lick him. The angel laughed, surprised when she laid down, turning onto her back. “She wants you to rub her belly,” Dean informed him.

Cas grinned, obliging. “I like dogs,” he decided.

He yawned, and the hunter looked up at him. “Are you tired?”

“I think so,” Cas answered after a moment of consideration.

Dean nodded, taking his hand. “Come on angel, you’ve had a long day. Let’s get you to bed.” He led Cas down the hall, pausing outside the door. “I, uh...sorry, did you...want to stay in your own room tonight? I’m fine either way, but I get it if you want some space...I don’t want to presume...”

Cas smiled softly, squeezing his hand. “Actually, I’d...rather not be alone. I’d like to stay with you, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, yeah, yes, of course,” Dean said quickly, relieved as he pulled the other man into his bedroom and closed the door. “I’m pretty sure I have some pajamas you can wear.”

Once changed, they climbed into bed, Dean’s heart hammering in his chest as he tried to figure out the appropriate distance to keep between them, settling uneasily on _as far as possible_. “Dean?” Cas said after a few silent minutes in the dark. “Would it...be okay if we were closer?”

Dean took in a shaky breath, swallowing hard. “Yeah...sure, I just wasn’t sure, uh, how you-”

He was cut off when suddenly the smaller man was pressed to his side, his head resting on Dean’s chest. “Is this alright?”

“Yeah,” Dean murmured, cautiously wrapping an arm around him and remembering to breathe when Cas relaxed under it. “Yeah, this is...this is good.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean smiled softly, biting his lip for a moment. “Sweet dreams, Cas.” 

And for the first time since it happened, he slept peacefully through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> This part was getting pretty long, so I figured I'd break it there. But two (ish) more chapters will be coming soon to resolve everything and bring our entire story to a satisfying close, so if you enjoyed this part please subscribe so you'll know when parts two and three arrive! And as always I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to leave a review below or come chat with me on Twitter, @TheSongSmithSPN.
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


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